And the walls came tumbling down...

And the walls came tumbling down…

Now that I am done with this I am not sure I should post it. Perhaps I got the urge just for my own benefit. Or perhaps I need some Tarot-licious guidance from another!

I started doing more and more readings for myself recently. Some times I tend to take a “break” from things only to come back to them with vigor!

Well, I kept getting the same cards over and over again despite me shuffling the shit out of the deck. And if it wasn’t the same exact card it had a similar damn meaning to one of the few cards that kept appearing. I even drew a rune from my bestie’s new set of bitchin runes she made and got one with a similar meaning. Not just SIMILAR…but real damn close!

So, of course I went with the first thing that popped into my head about these cards and went with it. Some of them appeared to be warnings but I told myself it was worth the risk. Now I am wondering if I was right to listen.

Sorry if I am being cryptic…but just deal with it! Teehee. ;]

I DO think I was right to listen at this moment. My life was basically CRYING OUT for change and I finally pulled off some chains.

Here are the cards. Tell me what you all think!
The first card I kept getting was The Empress. She CAN represent female creativity, fertility, sexuality, marriage, pregnancy, fruits of labor, etc.

YEP. Scared the bloody hell out of me. HOWEVER, I have just found that the first thing that came to mind WON’T be happening. So ha! THANK GEEBUZ! But I guess there are many ways to look at the card and I should REALLY stop being so literal. I am going to take the card as a woman of POWER! Woo!

When I didn’t get this card in a spread I would end up getting the Queen of Chalices/Cups instead. I took this as a sign that I shouldn’t be negatively focusing on the fertile aspects of the previous card but should be partially concerned with whether the woman is ME or another strong woman in my life that I should look to.

The second card was The Devil. Which CAN mean confronting personal demons, pessimism (me me me), unhealthy attachments, inhibitions, fear, oppression, etc. There are more…but I won’t bore you with the endless list.

For some reason I saw this card as a bad ending to a new stage in my life, but I also saw it as an awakening.

The third card was The Tower. DUN DUN DUN. Which again CAN be a collapse of an old way of life, shock, havoc, awakening, release from bondage, structural flaws, THE DEATH OF AN ILLUSION.

You get the idea. I sort of tied this card in as being in the same sort of gondola as The Devil. Perhaps I am or was wrong in doing so.

I can go on and on. I just feel like venting without actually vomiting up all the juicy details for ya’ll.

puzzles....

Working in the Target Garden Center can be really enjoyable. Usually the people are pretty laid back and/or nice, working with plants is always a plus and when it is NOT Summer I really enjoy just being outside!

The downside? Well, during the Summer I occasionally feel like passing out from the heat. BUT that is not the real downside (usually). The downside is that when we are not busy or I AM “lost” in my work (Don’t let me sweep! I might forget you exist even when you are standing next to me!) I get a lot of time to think.

Doesn’t sound like a problem I suppose, but I am a DWELLER. I dwell on the stupidest stuff sometimes. I will dwell on stuff that happened YEARS ago, I will dwell on conversations that I am not sure I understood correctly, I will dwell on pretty much anything.

And it makes it worse that I am an UTTER daydreamer!

Always have been! Always will be!

Today I kept thinking about “stupid” stuff again while working. Of course, this is nothing new. But when I am outside I actually can stop working and write stuff down. I used to do this when I would write poetry. Like during class when I would be hit with inspiration I would write poetry or doodle in the margins of my papers and then would have to later copy them all down again.

So, I grab a piece of journal paper (the paper “tape” the receipts are printed on) and start jotting things down. Then I go back to work only to find myself BACK leaning over the Coca-Cola brand cooler writing on paper. I did it my whole shift. And being me I would totally get lost in my writing and ignore the guests. I would jump up when they would finally have enough of waiting on me and call out for assistance. Then I would rush over and stuff the paper into the drawer so they wouldn’t know I was doing something NOT work related.

Eh.

Now I have all these bits of paper with stuff that doesn’t really make sense out of them that I need to piece together in order to “re-form” my thoughts I was having.

…..This should be fun….

Back soon hopefully with something. I never really like puzzles….especially the ones my own mind thrusts on me. :/

MORE coincidences? Or SIGNS!?!?!?

Apparently either I am just starting to see some coincidences OR someone/something is trying to tell me SOMETHING.

This is all within the past few weeks but first there was the turquoise business (read my other blog on it if ya want) and now there are other things going on.

LIKE I keep seeing those huge metallic green beetles everywhere. Usually I find them to be attracted to me for some reason (do I smell like crap or something perhaps?).

Whenever I am outside for a while one always tends to find me. People tell me they are good luck and that I should be grateful…but really…I am scared of them so I run! But I keep seeing them dead and lying upside down everywhere.

SO either the city sprayed them all to DEATH (do they still do that I wonder?) or it’s a sign my luck has run out. Or that is what I am guessing. Maybe I missed my chance at something. I was never good at reading “messages.” I believe in them, but then I always am skeptical about them. Silly me.

Another coincidence is the profusion of moths around me. I nearly yelled the other day (at the air of course) in the garden center because moths wouldn’t stop flying into me. They are everywhere STILL damnit! When I did a meditation to find my totem animal/spirit thingy a while ago it was clearly a moth and the moth always shows up in my life. But why are they “attacking” me. Am I missing something?

So either I can be sensible and say it is Summer and of course there is going to be bugs all over the place. Or I can give in and say: “IT’S AN OMMEEENNN!!” in the voice of the old Druid dude from that one scene in “Merlin.” Aahh…

Seems a few other people are having such coincidences right now from the blogs I am reading. Gah…I never know. Not much of a witch am I? I still need to trust myself and stop second guessing everything…STILL. Getting better at it…but eh.

:]

Turquoise Invasion!

Recently I got back from a trip to visit my Opa up in Lake Tahoe. While up there we drove out to visit a cemetery filled with predominantly German people. I was really interested in all the names and why so many Germans would want to settle in such a desert-like place.

Well, toward the end of our cemetery excursion my we see a rock sitting by a family plot of graves. My Opa picks it up and says something along the lines of: “Hey! Look! This is turquoise!” It was not a nice little polished stone or anything but a beautiful dirty and jagged rock with turquoise caught in little niches, etc. I couldn’t wait to get home to do some research on its properties.

Oddly enough I had been thinking of turquoise before I left on my trip. Thinking about how I never really felt partial to it before but had suddenly really felt like I wanted a piece of it anyway.

The next odd thing? I went to visit my Aunt Stephanie in Reno shortly after finding the rock and while at her house she asked me if I own anything from my Papa (my grandpa) Fred’s family. I said no and told her I thought it was because there were way to many people in my family for me to have anything of the family’s.

WEEELLL….next thing I know she brings me a beaded turquoise necklace that was my Papa’s Mother’s! I felt so honored! I was also having a “WTF?” moment because all of the sudden turquoise had invaded my life!

Here is what SeriousSilver.com has to say about turquoise:

“Sacred to both Native American and Oriental traditions, this stone helps to connect with spirit and brings the energy of the sky down to earth. It is helpful in expanding awareness while still maintaining practicality. Turquoise moves the wearer toward integration and wholeness. Used on the throat chakra, turquoise promotes communication and the ability to speak honestly, clearly and from the heart, and reminds us of our connection to Earth and Sky. Ancient lore suggests that it also protects against environmental pollutants. In ancient times, turquoise was utilized to gain wealth. Wearing turquoise can speed the healing process. Lore also has it that the stone will change color when the owner is in danger.”

What do you think about the whole turquoise thing?

Today's Tarot Readings...

I tried to use my handmade Amethyst pendulum again today with little success. I used to love using pendulums till I saw that if I willed it enough I would always get the answer I wanted. I'd rather NOT get everything I want thank you! I want truth (or something damn near it!).

I had one pendulum my Mom bought me that tripped me out a few times with its vigor. Unfortunately, the bugger likes to disappear every now and again leaving my handmade ones sitting there staring at me with utter distaste. I think it is time they found a new home. :] Takers?

They ARE quite lovely if I do say so myself. teehee. Maybe I will save them till the right person stumbles across THEIR path and they throw themselves at him/her. Yep, that'll work.

Well, anyway. I did a few one card readings for some questions I had. Somewhat enlightening reads I suppose. But then again I can never be so sure I am interpreting them correctly and sometimes I get a shock at the picture on the card that leaves me with a bad taste until I read what the "Tarot Pros" deem the card to mean. A battle between what the artist had in mind and what is in MY OWN mind. Hmmm..

ahem.

For upcoming situations I got "Temperance." Which according to tarotteachings.com (I usually use a book that I quite like but copying and pasting is MUCH easier-I'm lazy. ;] ):Merging, Balance, Healing, Connection, Chemistry, Fluidity, Moderation.

OK-interesting enough. But the picture on my the deck I was using showed a woman weeping over what looks to be a dead warrior. Soo...? Anyway...threw me off a bit.

Another reading I did was to see where I am at this time or what card represents me NOW. I got: THE WORLD!

Which means (again thanks to tarotteachings.com): Value, Success, Achievement, Fulfillment, Enrichment, Satisfaction.

Alrighty then. The book had a better and more drawn out understanding of the card that I preferred but this was close enough. I enjoyed the image on the card this time as well. No shocking dead people and weeping women or anything of the sort.

Ahhh.....looks like I am on the right path. Or perhaps the path that I wanted! muahaha! teehee. Getting my way I suppose. Yeah right...like that ever happens.

I did some other readings as well. But I couldn't draw any real meanings out of them that I really connected with and felt was...er...(word please?)...solid maaannnn.

or something.

The End.